By Kevin Riordan
The terrible process of unforgiveness, and how healing begins.
Forgiveness is not forgetting and moving on. Making the choice to forget about something done to you does not cancel out it’s affects on you. If anything undealt with wounds will become infected and begin the process of killing you from the inside out.
1. The offense occurs. Instead of dealing with it by choosing forgiveness, we accept it and analyze it.
2. We begin talking about it to others. By talking about it, we nurse the offense causing it to grow. At this point, infection has begun to set in.
3. The enemy’s voice increases, and Gods voice decreases.
4. Deception takes hold. We begin to experience depression, anxiety, anger, physical pain. Yet deception blinds us to the root of our issues.
5. We begin to believe lies about God. “God doesn’t love me” “God doesn’t care” “God doesn’t want to help me”. We May become angry with God. We begin to function out of an orphan spirit. “I guess I have to help myself”. We begin to engage in sinful activities as a way to numb our mind. This only opens us to more demonic oppression, compounding our problems.
6. Undealt with wounds become demonic filters through which we view life. Undealt with wounds and unforgiveness begin to breed more wounds and unforgiveness that work destroy your other relationships.
7. We construct walls. These walls are the enemies of vulnerability and connection. Where there is no vulnerability, love dies, and relationships deteriorate. That if they ever really materialized at all.
8. When unforgiveness fully matures, you become closed to the in flow of Gods love, causing there to be no out flow. With nothing flowing in and nothing flowing out, your soul becomes a swamp, rotten and festering. This swamp is the habitat for the demonic to thrive
and bitter roots to grow. These bitter roots produce rejection, anger, resentment, bitterness, pride, religiosity, deep deception. Infirmity, pain and affliction.
9. Left undealt with, these wounds will ultimately destroy your body and your soul.
The process to heal…
1. Recognize that the only one being destroyed by your anger and unforgiveness is you. The reality is that you have been deceived into believing that your anger and unforgiveness is affecting them. The reality is that everything that you want them to feel is actually coming back on yourself.
2. Go to God with your pain. Tell God how you feel. Forgiving does not mean you have to deny your anger or the pain in your heart. It also does not mean that what they did was okay. “God, I am hurting so bad, and I feel hatred for him/her for what was done to me”.
3. Make the CHOICE to forgive them for what they did. Keep in mind, when you’re raw with anger and pain, you will never feel like forgiving. Obedience to God is always a decision. Most times our flesh does not want to obey God in anything, especially when we’re wounded. “Lord despite everything I’m feeling towards he/she, I am making a choice to forgive —— for ——. God I choose to release them.
4. Ask God to heal your heart. When you choose to forgive, you open yourself to the free flow of Gods love. But this also gives you the ability to release love. This steady flow of love works as an antiseptic killing any infection, washing out the wound so healing can come.
5. Forgiveness and the healing it brings, many times is not an overnight process. Just like a physical wound doesn’t heal overnight, the same goes for your heart. When a physical wound occurs, it is important to continue to clean the wound out and reapply the needed medicine. Like a physical wound, you must continue to tend to your heart by reapplying forgiveness. When the temptation to rage begins to rise, shut it down through forgiveness.
Lord, give those who hurt, the grace to forgive and continue to forgive. Jesus, would you touch their hearts. Would you give them your heart for those that have hurt them. Jesus, I pray for grace and peace to be released right now, in the name of Jesus!!
By Kevin Riordan
More about Kevin:
Founder of “Set Free Ministries”
THANK YOU KEVIN FOR ALL YOU DO FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD!!!